Wandering scribbler..

Sometimes The Answer to the Prayer is not that It changes life, but that it changes you.

"  I am not ready..ummm...I mean i don't want to... " Zia said " What are you saying.." "I..I don't want to get married.." "What the fu** Zi,I am on my knees proposing and...And your not ready.." Aditya shouted,getting up from the shiny 5star hotel floor... "No..no Dan..don't misunderstand me...I don't know how to say this but..." "Shit..freaking shit..I can't believe you did this to me..!" He shouted agitated by her behavior.. "Jus..just..don't bother..I am leaving..i don't think i want to get into this.." " 'get into this'..Then why have you dragged me into this..We've been together for 4 years damn it and all this while i thought...  i thought we loved each other so i proposed marriage...but maybe i was wrong.. I am just sick and tired of your mood swings..I just proposed to you to get married to me for Christ' sake, 'a no' wouldn't have hurted

The world is full of chaos....Infact Ma Durga the various manifestations of whose idol we worship her in Calcutta is also a form of chaos.. A good form of chaos though which signifies the victory of good over evil.. It portrays the battle between Mahishasura a powerful asura who overlooks the possibility that a woman should be able to slay him a nd Ma Durga,the  power behind work of creation, preservation, and destruction of the world who  slays him   carrying with her  10 weapons,riding a ferocious lion... It also signifies forgiveness as b efore dying the Asura worshiped Goddess Durga and Ma granted him a boon that he will be worshiped with her till end of time..So whenever we see Devi durga being worshiped we also see Mahishasura is standing under her feet pierced by the trident at his chest... I know I am too small and ignorant to be preaching about these godly things at present but Ma Durga has always been like this old confidante who i used to share my dreams and d

"Just tell me what happened will you?" Jia asked.. "You know na we've been fighting a lot lately about his smoking habit.." Meghna said distressed.. "Look  Meghna its hard to quit smoking at once when you're so addicted..You have to work this out with him,just reason it out with him..I am sure he'll quit eventually.." Jia said looking at her watch,10 minutes were left and the OR would be ready.. "Its not that J its..its just that...." and  Meghna  broke down on the floor crying.. " Is everything alright  Meghna ?  Don't cry.. come on now tell me...Heyyy..! come on now, you can tell me,whats wrong?." Jia said quite shocked by the sudden outburst of her friend.. "Today we were fighting about something again and..and.." Meghna  said sobbing.. "And what  Meghna  come on..tell me.." Jia said concerned... And i screamed at him about his smoking habit and he shouted at me back..and..and he coughed ou

“ Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. ”

Sometimes the best way to move into the unknown is to take familiar steps, small steps.... But no matter how much you pretend that the way and the steps are familiar you know its the unknown,the unfamiliar, the unexplored that you're moving into and that freaks you out from within... Most people lead lives that follow a pattern like getting out of school,then college and then finding yourself a job and landing up somewhere..being someone...And then there's your personal life in between to juggle..But why is there always a pattern..? I mean I've seen people going back to study a completely different course after completing school and college and doing an internship like this US based uncle who completed med school to get into an architecture course..But most people regard these as stupid decisions they think these people are guided by emotion and not their better judgement... Anything which is not in a pattern or which does not fit into our pattern is considered nonsens

Life doesn't rhyme...

I wont be writing for a while... I don't know why i am writing this,i don't even  know whether it matters at all.. But I guess people come home to say goodbye.... Its just that sometimes we fall from high places and we fall so hard that it takes time to stand up again and when we somehow learn to stand up it seems even more painful to start walking again... So i think its going to take me quite sometime to start racing again..! Everyone spends a part of their lives playing tricks on life and then life plays a bigger trick on them..! Anyway I hope i will be back soon and write a comical post about whatever happened...! P.s The scribbler keeps checking her blog(old habits die hard..!) often so you could always leave comments on this space...

There was this contest in Indiblogger recently titled love marriage vs arranged marriage and though I hate writing for a contest or something, I began writing a post on love marriage and arranged marriages... But then I just couldn't bring myself to publish that(I mean writing for some contest is so not me..!!) and that's why I deleted it... Anyway while writing for that contest i was reminded of some really funny old memories of the marriages i attended when i was small... I remember when my two uncles got married consecutively i was about 5 or 6 yrs old.Now my two uncles(who got married consecutively on the same month) are cousin brothers but so close to each other that they supposedly have done everything together so they got married in the same month maybe in a week or two's gap..!.. This the only marriage which I kinda remember the earlier ones that I had been to have always been the ones where I went sleeping with my head on my mothers lap(nearly ruining her bena

This post is dedicated to the sweetest couple I know and is supposed to be on change(but as long as this is my space,who cares anyways!)... Ritu and Archie! Archie (who i mostly call doggy..!) and who comes under the false impression that I write well is one of my closest friends... Now the reason i am writing this(despite the fact that i love Archie..) is because of the person who swept her off her feet(not literally though..! :p)... Ritu(who's a guy..! ) was one person we always suspected Archie to be in love with but she never told us... She had lovingly kept the card and the chocolate ka wrapper(after eating the chocolate alone...!) that Ritu had given her... So Archie secretly fell in love with Ritu though we had guessed it long back we had really no clue when it actually happened...(though Riko had already given the bhavishya vani that it had happened...!!) Archie told us everything that happened and stuff but she never(never ever..!) confessed to us that her Prince C

Sometimes people are so optimistic that it makes them irksome....Just like too much light sends down a reflex to close your eyes... In the last few days I've been having encounters with this category of people,the over-optimistic type... People who always say ho jayega ho jayega,mil jayega and everything is possible type of people really irritate me.. I have this friend who's my senior by one year,she dropped a year to study engineering and this year when I gave my engineering entrance exams she gave them with me... She and her mom always criticised my way of studying and even said ki "aise padhne se entrance exams mei kuch nai hota"....We had the same centre for our IIT entrance exam and when I came out saying "thik thak" or rather "faltu tha" most of the time she says "bahut acha tha", "very easy" and stuff...But when the results would come out we would find that she dint even qualify..(she even found the IIT exam to be e

I came back yesterday from Mumbai.. I know it sounds really silly but i think i kinda started falling in love with Mumbai... The next day i reached Mumbai my dad(who was extremely concerned that i might get lost) told one of his favourite boys(from the office!) to take me to Marine drive because he had hell of a lot of work and a meeting that day... Anyway I reluctantly agreed though i knew i could go there alone and I was too old to get lost... But I dint want to give daddy that extra tension because i knew he had an important meeting... So Kanta(My sister and I call him that !!) came to pick me up and we went to Marine drive... *Info : Kanta is a character you'd rather not know about otherwise this post will turn into one boring irksome post..Lets just say he's the adult Dexter but when he opens his mouth all your preconceived notions about his intelligence vanish...!!* The weather was quite sunny that afternoon and though it was a very rare

I am in Mumbai yet again and I'm spending some jobless and useless moments here..So I'm spending my time watching people around me,and walking to Marine drive(though its quite far from the apartment..) Here are some of my observations..(as I have nothing better to write!) Yesterday I saw a really cute middle aged couple  in the cab before us,the husband and wife looked quite untouched by the rain and traffic outside...He settled her gajra and she laughed and put her head on his shoulders lovingly... For the few minutes that I saw them,they seemed quite in love and quite unconcerned of the world outside... I am not much of a 'gawk at people' type person but there was seriously something magical and innocent about them which was rare in other cases... As the cab moved past us, i wondered was it just the rain or love is in the air of Mumbai... I saw many more of such couples at Marine drive yesterday and today but they were not as interesting to watch as the

They say after great sadness or sorrow comes some happiness or normalcy or maybe okay-ness..  But I wonder why that doesn't happen with me... Am i jinxed or something if something like that exists or maybe Mumbai doesn't suit me... Whatever it is, I have never been so homesick in my life... I've come to realize that life is not when things fall into place its when they don't but you juggle through the falling blocks and manage anyway... But it seems like I'm on the verge of losing it (or have i already...)... Or maybe this is what you feel after changing two flights(consecutively..) and not getting what you came for...

In today's world when the virtual world is taking over the real world and relationships... I can't help but wonder are real emotions too giving away to virtual expression of feelings... There was a time when love stories meant love letters written to one another..I remember I had found a letter safely kept in one of Dada's books with a dried up rose inside which he had written to my Dadi.. My Dad had written love letters to my mum which they are too embarrassed to show us(though i always insist..!!)...!! But nowadays this lovely gesture has been replaced by texts messages and (the worst part)status updates professing ones love.... Most of my friends and acquaintances first proclaimed their love through texting or phone calls and emails... Have we lost the hand written love letter in our digital world then? When we were in school and we used to have these silly fights with each other,and things got worse, we used to write a letter to each other to peacefully prove o

Sometimes people come into our lives and change the way we feel for it... Sometimes people(who are not that important to us..) go out of the way to help us and we wonder why? And sometimes there are people really close to us,who we count upon and expect to be by our side... But do they...? When you really care for a person and at times even worry about that person is it wrong to expect the same from them? But we all expect some amount of emotion in return don't we?  Can we ever be in any relation without expectations... Now we do not expect anyone to try to make everyday worth living for us (because we'd have to do that ourselves ...) but we do expect some people to "bother" about our feelings and our emotions because we did the same for them...  Maybe we had gone out of the way solving some one's issues or worried about them when they had a breakup or just listened to their emotional issues at other times or just been with them when they really needed

We've always had heated up arguments  among friends over silly issues but we've solved them and come to an understanding.. There have been times when we vowed never to speak to each other but then ultimately we've always come back to each other and solved our issues... Fights and difference in opinions are kinda normal in every relationship.. But the question is to what extent do they remain they normal and avoidable.? Sometimes fights get down to that extent that it might strain the relation... I've had one such fight with a friend after which we dint speak to each other for years but then we did sort out our problems later...But the truth is now our friendship has changed in such a way that we maybe "Friends" but I cannot trust her anymore... We've always been told by our teachers and mentors that we shouldn't let the ego become a factor in relationships... Maybe ego actually should be kept aside in our relationships but what about dignity a

Nowadays i usually take my armchair out on the terrace, my dogs nandini and bittu follow me despite their lazy schedule..They nibble the scattered leaves and run around,giving me comical looks from time to time... I was sitting in my armchair at the terrace today when it started raining... Nandini and bittu ran inside expecting me to follow them this time, but i dint.. I remember when i was in kindergarten i had seen that movie Chaalbaaz in which Sri devi had this dance wearing a transparent raincoat and from that day i desperately wanted a raincoat like that....!! When rainy season came i had made up my mind to wear a raincoat to school... So my mom got me this pink raincoat and i told her to write my name on its collar in block letters lest someone takes it from me...! I wanted to wear it to school everyday(irrespective of the fact whether it rained or not..!!)... When it rained in the evenings i would quickly wear my raincoat and run outside in the rain and when asked i woul

I just officially accepted that I'm going through a really tough time,when i burnt my cookies....Okay you might think I'm superstitious but let me tell you i  am NOT superstitious(or am I!!) Yes i have a lucky pen and lucky chain(is that being superstitious!!!?)... I remember during my boards when most of my friends turned religious i realized that i needed to start studying ASAP!!! Anyway speaking of superstitious recently a friend nearly gave me a mini heart attack by saying that she's planning to do some santoshi ma ka vrarth..! For quite sometime i thought she was joking but then she told me why she plans to do it and blah blah and i understood she was serious. She told me that she's keeping this fast because she thinks "by doing this fast her wish will be fulfilled.." I dint know what to tell her just because i dint believe in it i had no right to disregard somebody else's.. But i couldn't help but wonder, Does the 'next generation sel

Maybe I am a misfit in many ways I  don't fit into many places(not that i try to!!) and I am too stuck up on things to change myself...!! Maybe thats why some people think I am proud or that I think highly about myself...But I'll tell you the truth i have no reason to.. I've thought a lot about "things" recently and realized that maybe at some point I am kinda boring..!!  I'd rather be happy watching  squirrels(who i have named, kiri and kathu!) running on my window ledge,and walking through unknown streets, empty fields and shed a tear reading an old novel which touched me and be totally unmoved by reading another... I try my best to remove any misconception that arise between my friends and don't give a damn to what others think of me...  I am not on Facebook(at present!!), not much of a shopper, hate partying and I'd rather spend my time in a bookshop with a book... I write for the love of it be it in my diary or this blog and paint whe

He was lost in a depressing thought that day when the clouds of thunder made an effect of dark and light around him...  As he stood there on that stormy night alone,watching those empty roads which couldn't lead him home today and the destructive silence which was soon broken by the roar of thunder...  He looked back as if in deep anticipation and longing of someone...As if he was still waiting for her to come looking for him and hold him again which would make everything seem lighter... The pain of his feelings was ripping him apart from inside how could he do that to her... It was all over now he was sure she dint love him and would never see his face again... It had happened just as she jokingly told him one day that his anger will ultimately ruin it all.... He kicked the ground hard,"its all over now everything is finished.." A wild stormy wind ruffled the leaves when he silently lit a cigarette.. This silence was deafening him... He couldn't hear the tu

I hate people who get too preachy on your life,judge or criticize you specially when they have no idea what you are going through.. I have this cousin who loves wearing skirts but recently because of some preachy people and a series of incidents she has vowed never to wear them.. I went out for lunch with my friend Oindy today and while we were discussing about things she told me about how someone passed a nasty comment to her friend from college in the canteen and no one supported the girl because she was wearing a denim short skirt and tee..!!! It was so pathetic and spineless of those people not to have given that guy a slap... I remember going out with my sister's friends one day and some guy passed a nasty comment on one of our friends and all the guys in that group went and slapped that guy.. But I dint like it,i wondered about what would have happened if she would have been alone...? Usually women silently ignore these nasty comments,whistles or even vulgar songs ai