Wandering scribbler..

Wish everyone reading(and not reading) a Merry Christmas... I had a really memorable Christmas this year,with all my friends... And despite having these allergies on my face which make me look like Voldemort,i hugely enjoyed this day... I usually spend this day at my friend machli's house (which is more my house than hers!) eating,dancing partying with my friends... We went to Park street in the evening which is heavily decorated for Christmas... As the entry of motor vehicles was banned on the road in the evening, it was an atmosphere of carols, choir, shouts of joy in unison from people,shimmering lights... It was an amazing experience,I think it was a wonderful idea to have a Christmas carnival in this city of Joy... Anyway i had an amazing time but I have my exams lined up after two days to spoil the fun... Adios till next time...

I had rashes all over my face a few months back because of some dust allergy,and everyone in my college including people i was not acquainted to, people i didn't speak to came to ask me with shocked looks of distress "What happened to your face?" (as if i had done some plastic surgery and turned into Lord Voldemort!!) Anyway I told them about my allergy with a smile... Throughout the day numerous people asked me about my face, even when i went to the loo, I told them what happened, answering their numerous questions about what type of cream i was using to "how can i come to college like this" with a disgusted face...(consoling myself that it does not matter.) After classes got over i went to fill my (now distressed) self with some food, at the roadside stalls that we have opposite our college (where they serve quite decent food within an affordable price for people like us!) their again another group of people some of who already knew why i had turned into

Life.. We all struggle through it..we live through it...we play with it..we fall in love with it...we romance it..we abuse it...we get tired of it..we hate it.. But its our chaotic life and only we can set things right...  Life is all about trial and error... Its about screwing things up the first time getting something right the second time and eventually making it/or not making it... A few months back a classmate who i had lots of funny fights with in school committed suicide... Then again after a week or two, another acquaintance who often spoke to me about his sadistic life did the same. I was shocked. We figure out  how to survive through school and college,get a job,earn money,fall in love but sometimes what we don't know is how to deal with the pressure that builds up. There was a time in my life when I thought for a fleeting moment that maybe if I don't get through the medical entrance exam I might commit suicide.But eventually as luck would have it, I couldn&#

We dream... We set a time limit for our dreams... We struggle and strive to fulfill them... Some dreams come true and some remain as dreams... Now if it comes true you're fortunate its something you've fought for... But what if you don't make it... Either you accept it and move on being satisfied that you tried or you try again and again... Since the last year I've come across many people belonging to the second category  those who would fight for their dreams and struggle to make it happen...Students who would travel long distances in buses and then metro and then walk to the Medical/Engineering coaching institute, Some students who would stay far away from their homes in a PG or mess close to their Coaching institute because they couldn't make it the year before... Students who preferred struggle rather than compromising their dreams... Year after year students drop out just to give their dreams another chance just to study Medicine,or to get through

My mood swings like a pendulum...! I have quite a few books left  unfinished... My study table is a clutter mountain...! I am in love(and its not with a puppy this time..!) its with my new coffee brewing machine and with the person who gave it to me....! I scribble more...And I write less... Words continue to dance in my head (.. No I'm not dyslexic!! ) and its too much chaos to pen down...! So these were a few of my symptoms( not in order though!) ...!

An unforeseen rainy evening... The slow falling rain... The traffic , the hustle bustle and the smoke from buses,people from offices hurrying home... A stubborn guy's confession...and a reluctant strong headed girl's worries about reaching home... A unexpected passionate embrace... Slowly the surroundings blur... The ice cream stall...the people rushing home...the traffic...the hustle bustle...everything ceases to exist... Unforgotten pains,doubts, worries and the noises inside and outside everything turns to blur... Time freezes for them as if it never did exist... The sound of his racing heartbeat slows down as she holds him tighter... And then colors had a new meaning... So did many other words which he once laughed at... All the pains and darkness was filled in.. And the rain writes down the words which she once left unsaid... A rainy evening ... And the grey sky...  In an empty street  ...  And two people lost in each other...

What was he? Eccentric.. Simple uncomplicated yet a rebel,a risk taker... a misfit... a Dreamer.. Some mocked and humiliated and everyone belittled his dreams... Untouched by the world,he smiled and drifted away from their realms... " Gee he said he could turn his sail boat into gold " they laughed... He was a lunatic that's what they claimed... Sailing away from the harbour he wasn't afraid of catching trade winds in his sail... Days... and months... and then years flew by... No one ever heard of him.. perhaps they dint even try... But then one day at the crack of dawn,a new ship arrived ashore... And as the first light of dawn reached their home, They found him, Asleep in his ship of gold

" Someone once told me that some of us are actually afraid of the dark; we’re scared of what it conceals from us. We’re afraid of having something with the potential to hurt us standing right before our eyes and not registering it as a threat. People can be like that too. "

I think about silly stuff sometimes maybe because I am coffee deprived now because of my sleeplessness people at home refuse to make me coffee (or let me make it!) ...!!! I mean not always but sometimes nowadays i end up thinking "what if.....?"..(maybe because some of my friends just have to wet my shoulder with tears...!*no not complaining..!!*)  Like the other day one of my friends had a breakup and she was telling me about how lonely she feels as she has lost touch with most of her friends and in the end we came to the conclusion that one should never become too habituated with anyone(which is to a certain extent silly but anyways....!).. And then i started thinking about the few friends i have and what if someday we lose touch or what if we just grow out of each other ...I dint know the answer to that (maybe i could have figured it out with just a simple cup of black coffee ...!!!!) Now i was being really silly but my coffee deprived mind was still unsatisfied and j

Sometimes when nothing seems right i look into the sky and look for my answers... And in all those stars i try to fathom which ones you are or if at all you are there or not and then like magic i get a weird sense of serenity as if all these questions and all my chaos is projected out to that wild dream worth living...

(Follows from Ehsaas part III  http://memoriesinrain.blogspot.in/2013/03/ehsaassamajh-ke-bhi-na-hosake.html  ) Aj bus keh dena hai.. Samajh paye na paye tu..in baato mei chupe us unkahe se ehsaas ko.. Us ehsaas mei meri sachayi ko....aj bus....abhi....yahi keh dena hai.. Jo hai hum dono ke beech.. Shayad na samajh paye tu.. Shayad pura na samajh payu mai.. Par aj meri bus tu hai..tu hai main hu aur ye unkaha sa ehsaas hai.. bus aj aur intezaar nahi hoga is dilse.. Bus keh dena hai aj.. Kyuki tujhme hi mai hu....aur shayad mujhme hi hai ab tu.. Ye ehsaas bus abhi....bus yahi tujhe samjha dena hai.. Tere na hone par bhi... tu hai yahi..bus yahi.. paas hai mere.... toh abhi toh dur aur nahi rehne dena hai.. Hai ye jo bhi..jo bhi maine mehsoos kiya hai.. Aj bus abhi puri sachayi se tujhe keh dena hai.. Bus ab sab kuch kehdena hai..

Kabhi kabhi yun hi behoshi mei mann karta hai bata du tumhe.. Bata du ki kaun ho tum mere..bus be-inteha the tum mere... Kabhi kabhi yun hi adhi raato k sannate mei.. Ji karta hai suna du tumhe ki kitni raate neend nahi ayi hume.. Kabhi kabhi yun hi nashe mei khud ko dubokar.. Dil karta hai tod du har bandhan kar seema aur bus dube rahu us lamhe mei.. Kabhi kabhi yun mehsoos hota hai.. Kabhi kabhi..kabhi kabhi...  yun... Kya tumhe kabhi hota hai..

This time when we meet..I will tell you how much I missed you.. I will stare at your deep brown eyes till I no longer can.. And hold you so tight that you can never free yourself! This time when I meet you I won't be scared to hold hands and walk with you till we lose our path.. This time when I meet you I will tell you all the words that we left unsaid.. And speak to you till the stars are tired of our trysts.. This time when I meet you I'll listen to all your war stories and I promise I won't cry.. And we'll live forever in our little cottage beside the mountain and the lake.. This time when I meet you....    this time.. This time when we meet each other we'll change our destiny and write our tale and be together till our name fades..

(Ehsaas part II  http://memoriesinrain.blogspot.in/2013/03/ehsaaskuch-toh-hai-shayad.html ) Unko dekhe se jo mil jati hai is dil ko raahat... Kaise kahe ki kya hai ye ehsaas.. Kya hai akhir ye ajeebse dard ka rishta.. Unki awaaz se jo chir jate hai is dil k taar lagta hai aise ki bus kuch nai kuch bhi nahi aur is jeevan mei pane k layak.. Unki berukhi se kyu zindagi bus tham si jaye ya unki baato se kyu sulajh sa jaye ye jeevan... Kya hai ye ehsaas samajhke bhi anjaan hai hum.... Kyu unse hi dard baatna chahe ye dil kyu unki khamoshi mei bhi ye apne jawaab dhondna chahe.. Unse na milne se jo bechain hojaye ye dil.. Kya hai ye ehsaas..kya hai ye ehsaas kyu samajh ke bhi anjaan hai hum.. Kyu na ho sake humse bayaan.. Kyu shabdheen sa hojayu mai bus thehr si jaye ye zubaan Kya hai aur kyu hai ye ehsaas.. Shayad samajh ke bhi na hosake gi beyaan..

Sometimes in this weird life of black and white you come across people who add a little sparkle to your life.. They make you feel as if you can achieve everything and make life a lot more lighter..And with them you laugh at the worst moments, cry at the silliest of times and live life with a lot more passion! Here's to all those special people in my life...!

Rain on me today... Rain as if there's no tomorrow, no sun... Drown my silences with the sound of your arrival... And as the drops run down my face overpower all my pain and make the scars disappear as if it was never there... And as the winds blow over me, I shiver but you hold me as if it is the last time we'll hold each other again...  As I stand there in your embrace you fill my senses with the smell of parched grass, and the wet ground... And awaken me with your presence and leave me anewed...

Sometime in the morning yesterday, I got this SMS from my friend, 'naseeb kyu mujhse khafa ho jata hain?? kyu na ho shikayat meri nazro ko raat se... sapna pura hota nahi aur savera ho jata hain!! ' P.s I will wait for your answer...                                                                                  ~ Akash And I thought about this while returning by metro  and by the time my station came and people started flowing out my answer was sent... This was what i wrote..! Naseeb chahe ho khafa hum naseebo pe sapne kyu sajaye.. Raat se kyu rahe shikayat jab ye roz ek nayi subah laye..? Sapne kyu sirf bus band ankho ko sukoon de..? ye toh harr raat bus ankho se neende uraa lejaye.. Hai agar sapne dekhne ki himmat hum mei.. Toh ye kismat se bhi ye bhira lejaye.. Jalkar agar jeet ho hassil toh jalna bhi manzoor ho jaye.. Pure hone ki shart nahi hai.. Bus cheen lejane ka junoon hai.. Sapne dekhne ka shauk kaha ye kuch kardikhane ka fitoor hai..!

Here's a poem written by my friend who is trying to quit smoking and below it is my reply poem to him ... Aj fir ek cigarette jala raha hun,, uski nazar me ye ek gunaah hai, mai to uske waade bhula raha hu,, Aj fir ek cigarette jala raha hu.. samajhna mat isko meri aadat,main to bus dhuaan ura raha hu, ye uski yaado ka silsila hai, mai uski yaaden jala raha hu.. mai peekar itna behek chuka hu ki gham ke kisse suna raha hu.. agar tumhein bhi ghm hai to aao,main pee raha hu aur pila raha hu... ek cigarette ki shama k bahane main apne aap ko jala raha hu.. Aaj fir ek cigarette jala raha hu.....                                                                                     ~ Akash  Gam ko aasuyo se na piya toh kya piya.. gam ko zindagi mei na badal diya toh kya jiya..  Gam ko dhuye mei urane ki addat nahi humko, hum toh isi dard k nashe,ki addat mei jiye huye hai..!                                                                                             

(Ehsaas part I  -  http://memoriesinrain.blogspot.in/2013/02/ehsaas.html  ) Humei laga tha hai kuch nahi.. Kuch nai jo keh k batla du tumhe.. Kuch nahi jise shabd de paye meri zubaan.. Kuch nai bus kuch nai gar hai toh.. Fir kyu hai ye intezaar... Kyu hai ye khamoshiyo mei shabd dhundti si muskaan.. Kyu hai unko dekhne ko betaab mera mann.. Kyu hai tujhe thes pahuchane ki shikayat.. Hai kya ye ehsaas kuch nahi..par kuch toh hai shayad..

Aj fir ajeeb sa ek dard jaise ubhar aya.. aj fir ek kamzori se ye dil bhar aya.. dabbi hui in yaado mei un baato mei har din bhul kar bhi zikr hojata hai.. ansuyo ka sahara na raha par firbhi aj ek ajeebsa dard hai  ek ajeebsi tanhayi ne is dil ko jakar liya.. kaise batayu kisse batayu kitne yaad ate ho.. bus bahut yaad ate ho aj bhi bahut yaad ate ho..

Hoitoh bojhate parbona bhalobasha ki..kintu kokhuno kokhuno tomadr dekhe bhabi bhalobasha ki shei.? bhalobasha ki mithya bola na coaching kete cinema dekha,  naki bhoy pe pe shei prothom baar tomake chithi lekha, Bhalobasha ki chokher jol na eksathe khushi howa, bhalobasha ki shudu jhogra na jhograr porer maniya newa.. bhalobasha ki kokhuno kokhuno tomai niye chinta kora.. Naki bhalobasha bodhai tomai harie giye khuje pawa..?

Humse pucha doston ne jab kya hai ye jo hai tum dono ke beech.. Humne kaha kuch nahi k,kuch nahi jo samajha saku tumko.. Kuch nahi jisko naam de saku mai.. Kuch nahi jo hai ek ajeeb se dard ka rishta.. Kuch nahi jisse rishton mei dhaal saku mai.. Kuch nahi jo baato mei karsaku baayan Kuch nahi jo likhkar suna saku tumhe.. Hai kya ye ehsaas bus kuch nahi kuch bhi toh nahi..

Kehte kehte keh diya humne ki kami akhir hai kaha.. Kami socho toh kami maano toh kami Bolo toh kami,chidhati hai kami khali pocket ki kami,kitabo ki kami, pen k sihayi ki kami! kal k khane ki kami,roz ki zindagi ki kami.. Kyu na dikhe tujhe kami..?? Kehti hai tu dikhti nahi ye kami.. Hai kya sirf meri ankhon mei kami hai kya bus mujhe khatakti ye kami.. Zindagi mei hai jo kami,aj aur kal ki ye kami.. Sath rehne k samai ki kami.. Tu kehti hai 'dikhti nahi ye kami, Ye kami hai kuch nahi bus dhundli ankho ka dosh.. Sapne bichaye chalo toh na hogi ye kami..'  teri ankhon se dekhna chahu ab mai ye kami.. Dhire dhire mit jayegi har kami dhire dhire dhundli ho rahi hai ye kami.. Shayad Bhar deti hai tu har kami.. Shayad tu hi bhardeti hai ye kami..

Dekha hai kabhi patto k ghero k uparka aasmaan, aj ek per pe char k dekho.. Bahut sukoon bhari hai woh chadar, aj taaro k neeche laet k dekho Bahut suhana hai woh safar aj ek dost k sath chalke dekho.. Urayi hongi patange  kayi,aj abhi  tabiyat se 1 uraan bhar ke dekho.. Kho ne k darr se mauke khoye honge kayi, aj is Zindagi ko 1 mauka de ke dekho.. Dubne k darr se lehron k age nahi bari hongi kabhi,aj in lehron se dosti kar ke dekho.. Jaanti hu phoolon se bahut chot khayi hai tumne par aj is ghari ek phool chun ke dekho.. Aj meri tarah soch ke dekho.. Kabhi meri tarah sochke dekho..

Love.. Love for it makes you feel complete and lonesome at the same time.. Love Love even though you find a million reasons not to... Love Love for you hate and love the person the most at the same time.. Love Love because you want to be noticed and to be unnoticed at the same time.. Love Love for you don't want to speak to that person ever again, but end up doing just the same again and again... Love, Love cause you go against your better judgments and fears and abstentions just to see that one smile on that person... Love, Love because you're tiresomely sad but happy because that person has got LOVE.. Love Love not because you think you understand it but because you can never fully understand what it is...

Love, the elusive,controversial,hot topic that gives rise to pain and happiness,joy and sorrow... And in some cases anguish and euphoria... It is that(read., highly hazardous) disorder which can transform a healthy and sound individual into a jealous, possessive and scheming person, who can be readily passed as a neurotic mental case..! Now many people have all the time in their lives for such a nuisance but clearly some(like me!) dont... So Love love love... SPARE ME THE drama!

बातो में बातें, बातो से बातें, ख़ुशी और गम की बातें , प्यार और धोखे  की बातें,और दोनों के बीच की बातें , शादी और बेवफाई की बातें और दोनों के साथ चलने की बातें , कहने और न कहने की बातें , घर की बातें,शहर की बातें, धरती और देश की बातें . खेत और किसान की बातें, पॉलिटिक्स और नेताओं की बातें , क्रांति और बदलाव की बातें , कभी कभी खुद को बदलने की बातें , सिर्फ बातें बस बातें और बातें।। Baato mei baate baato se baate khushi aur gam ki baate, pyaar aur dhoke ki baate aur dono ke beech ki baate, shaadi aur bewafai ki baate aur dono k sath chalne ki baate, kehne aur na kehne ki baatei, ghar ki baatei,sheher ki baatei, dharti aur desh ki baatei, khet aur kisaan ki baatei, politics aur netao ki baatein, kranti aur badlaav ki baatei, kabhi kabhi khudko badalne ki baatein.. Sirf baatei bus baatei aur baatei..

जीवन का जीवन से मतलब न पूछना लहरों की लहरों से साहिल न पूछना चलते हुए राही से मंजिल न पूछना शुरू कहा से ये कतार न पूछना पेशे से कसाई को हलाल न पूछना सिरफिरे कवी से खोया ख्याल न पूछना टूटे हुए दिल से उसका हाल न पूछना बिन पैर वाले से रफ़्तार न पूछना उस गरीब बचे से भूक का नाम न पूछना एक बार कहा तो बार बार न पूछना हो कहा तुम? ये सवाल न पूछना तुझसे तू न पूछना मुझसे मै  न पुचुंगी,हुम्दोनो से हमारी पहचान न पूछना बस कुछ न पूछना, आज कुछ न पूछना बस कुछ न पूछना, बस कुछ  न पूछना।। Jeevan ka jeevan se matlab na puchna.. Lehron ki lehron se saahil na puchna.. Chalte huye raahi se manzil na puchna.. Shuru kaha se ye kataar na puchna..  Peshe se kasai ko halaal na puchna..  Sir fire kavi se khoya khayal na puchna.. tute huye dil se uska haal na puchna..  Bin paer wale se raftaar na puchna..  Us Garib bache se bhook ka naam na puchna..  1 baar kaha toh baar baar na puchna..  Ho kaha abhi tum ye sawaal na puchna.. tujhse tu na puchna,mujhse mai na puchungi,  hum dono s

I was chatting with a friend(who always tries to link me up to new people!) and she asked me to describe my Mr Right and how he should be(even though I'd told her i believe Mr Right is a myth but she wouldn't listen..)! I don't know what he should be like i mean,i have NEVER analyzed the Mr Right concept before(maybe because i used to read Tolstoy when my friends started Mills and Boons!).. Anyway, so this is my take on my Mr Right.!   When I stay up late to paint a new picture and when its complete just the way I've wanted it to be and even though I have paint smeared on my hands,face and clothes there's this feeling of serenity and comfort... Talking to you should feel like this.. On the days I feel I've messed up and  almost nothing falls in its place and then you finally finish something you've been struggling on for a long time...And seeing you happy eases me from all the tension that was. Happiness should feel this... On the day

साथ बैठते थे जब बेफिक्रो से।। छत  के पास हमारे बादलो के अड्डे में,class  कई छुटे  होंगे बादलो की गिनती में।। देखा करते थे सपने कई उस बंद दरवाज़े के पास की खिरकी से, गुज़र गए होंगे बादल कई उन बातो की धारो को लान्गते हुए। जूरी है कई यादें उस खिरकी के टूटे पल्ले से, भेद जाते थे बादल जहा बेतुकी बातो के तारो से।। रंग बिखर जाया करते थे कयी , सपनो भरे उस आसमान पर, जुर्रत भरे परिंदे भरा करते थे उरान जिनपर। साथ चलते चलते हमने कितने ही रंग भिखेरे होंगे।।  बोझल पल्खो से गिरते परते कितने सपनो से जेबे भरी होंगी, कितनी परेशानिया हस्सी में धुन्द्लादी होंगी।। सच ,          साथ चलते चलते कुछ वक़्त होगया अभी ... पर लगता है जैसे कल ही दोस्त बने होंगे। साथ बैठते थे जब बादलो के अड्डे के पास, न कुछ पाने का डर न कुछ खोने  की चिंता बस बादलो का शौक रखने वाले दो दोस्त ,                   आसमानों के नशे में धुत।।। (Sath baithte the jab befikro se.. chat ke pas humare baadalo ke adde mei ,class kayi chute honge baadlalo ki ginti mei.. Dekha karte the sapne kayi us band darwaaze k paas