Wandering scribbler..

What is it about unattainable men that attracts us to them? Why do women almost always fall for men who they can't have? That unkept beard, that careless smile and eyes like the lake shinning in the moonlight! Huhh! That's my kind of 'Mr Impossible' but I am sure most women will have their own 'Mr Impossible' in mind!(There isn't any dearth of careless cute guys oblivious to the trouble they cause to our poor hearts!)  Anyone at any stage of their lives can have a crush! As I always tell my friends its never too late to have a little bit of flutter in your stomach. Maybe it will make you love and pay attention to yourself a little more.  Has someone ever made you so nervous that you eat your words and forget to eat the food in front of you?  When your crushing on someone you remember their each and every word and gesture.  Every time your eyes meet your heart skips a beat. And you wonder if they're feeling the same.    You stalk them on all possib...

There's this song Ei sohor jane amar prothom shobkichu by kabir suman,whenever i listen to this song i realize once again how much this city means to me... Truly this city has given me my firsts,from my first day of school to my first friend,the first time i learnt to ride a bicycle to driving a car and i can keep on adding to the list... This city has taught me when to ignore and when to raise my voice,it has given me one or more opportunities to become bad but ample opportunities to do and become good.. This is a city where everyone has an opinion and you cannot help but have one too, you realize that when you have to stand in a crowded bus,metro or maybe a long queue and suddenly some people who are perhaps strangers break out into a discussion about things like rising petrol costs,the drop of the Rupee, football, the soaring temperatures and the common topic is about the government or the lack of it... It almost seems like your the only one in a hurry and they have all the t...

My mood swings like a pendulum...! I have quite a few books left  unfinished... My study table is a clutter mountain...! I am in love(and its not with a puppy this time..!) its with my new coffee brewing machine and with the person who gave it to me....! I scribble more...And I write less... Words continue to dance in my head (.. No I'm not dyslexic!! ) and its too much chaos to pen down...! So these were a few of my symptoms( not in order though!) ...!

An unforeseen rainy evening... The slow falling rain... The traffic , the hustle bustle and the smoke from buses,people from offices hurrying home... A stubborn guy's confession...and a reluctant strong headed girl's worries about reaching home... A unexpected passionate embrace... Slowly the surroundings blur... The ice cream stall...the people rushing home...the traffic...the hustle bustle...everything ceases to exist... Unforgotten pains,doubts, worries and the noises inside and outside everything turns to blur... Time freezes for them as if it never did exist... The sound of his racing heartbeat slows down as she holds him tighter... And then colors had a new meaning... So did many other words which he once laughed at... All the pains and darkness was filled in.. And the rain writes down the words which she once left unsaid... A rainy evening ... And the grey sky...  In an empty street  ...  And two people lost in each other...

(Follows from Ehsaas part III  http://memoriesinrain.blogspot.in/2013/03/ehsaassamajh-ke-bhi-na-hosake.html  ) Aj bus keh dena hai.. Samajh paye na paye tu..in baato mei chupe us unkahe se ehsaas ko.. Us ehsaas mei meri sachayi ko....aj bus....abhi....yahi keh dena hai.. Jo hai hum dono ke beech.. Shayad na samajh paye tu.. Shayad pura na samajh payu mai.. Par aj meri bus tu hai..tu hai main hu aur ye unkaha sa ehsaas hai.. bus aj aur intezaar nahi hoga is dilse.. Bus keh dena hai aj.. Kyuki tujhme hi mai hu....aur shayad mujhme hi hai ab tu.. Ye ehsaas bus abhi....bus yahi tujhe samjha dena hai.. Tere na hone par bhi... tu hai yahi..bus yahi.. paas hai mere.... toh abhi toh dur aur nahi rehne dena hai.. Hai ye jo bhi..jo bhi maine mehsoos kiya hai.. Aj bus abhi puri sachayi se tujhe keh dena hai.. Bus ab sab kuch kehdena hai..

This time when we meet..I will tell you how much I missed you.. I will stare at your deep brown eyes till I no longer can.. And hold you so tight that you can never free yourself! This time when I meet you I won't be scared to hold hands and walk with you till we lose our path.. This time when I meet you I will tell you all the words that we left unsaid.. And speak to you till the stars are tired of our trysts.. This time when I meet you I'll listen to all your war stories and I promise I won't cry.. And we'll live forever in our little cottage beside the mountain and the lake.. This time when I meet you....    this time.. This time when we meet each other we'll change our destiny and write our tale and be together till our name fades..

(Ehsaas part II  http://memoriesinrain.blogspot.in/2013/03/ehsaaskuch-toh-hai-shayad.html ) Unko dekhe se jo mil jati hai is dil ko raahat... Kaise kahe ki kya hai ye ehsaas.. Kya hai akhir ye ajeebse dard ka rishta.. Unki awaaz se jo chir jate hai is dil k taar lagta hai aise ki bus kuch nai kuch bhi nahi aur is jeevan mei pane k layak.. Unki berukhi se kyu zindagi bus tham si jaye ya unki baato se kyu sulajh sa jaye ye jeevan... Kya hai ye ehsaas samajhke bhi anjaan hai hum.... Kyu unse hi dard baatna chahe ye dil kyu unki khamoshi mei bhi ye apne jawaab dhondna chahe.. Unse na milne se jo bechain hojaye ye dil.. Kya hai ye ehsaas..kya hai ye ehsaas kyu samajh ke bhi anjaan hai hum.. Kyu na ho sake humse bayaan.. Kyu shabdheen sa hojayu mai bus thehr si jaye ye zubaan Kya hai aur kyu hai ye ehsaas.. Shayad samajh ke bhi na hosake gi beyaan..

Rain on me today... Rain as if there's no tomorrow, no sun... Drown my silences with the sound of your arrival... And as the drops run down my face overpower all my pain and make the scars disappear as if it was never there... And as the winds blow over me, I shiver but you hold me as if it is the last time we'll hold each other again...  As I stand there in your embrace you fill my senses with the smell of parched grass, and the wet ground... And awaken me with your presence and leave me anewed...

(Ehsaas part I  -  http://memoriesinrain.blogspot.in/2013/02/ehsaas.html  ) Humei laga tha hai kuch nahi.. Kuch nai jo keh k batla du tumhe.. Kuch nahi jise shabd de paye meri zubaan.. Kuch nai bus kuch nai gar hai toh.. Fir kyu hai ye intezaar... Kyu hai ye khamoshiyo mei shabd dhundti si muskaan.. Kyu hai unko dekhne ko betaab mera mann.. Kyu hai tujhe thes pahuchane ki shikayat.. Hai kya ye ehsaas kuch nahi..par kuch toh hai shayad..

Hoitoh bojhate parbona bhalobasha ki..kintu kokhuno kokhuno tomadr dekhe bhabi bhalobasha ki shei.? bhalobasha ki mithya bola na coaching kete cinema dekha,  naki bhoy pe pe shei prothom baar tomake chithi lekha, Bhalobasha ki chokher jol na eksathe khushi howa, bhalobasha ki shudu jhogra na jhograr porer maniya newa.. bhalobasha ki kokhuno kokhuno tomai niye chinta kora.. Naki bhalobasha bodhai tomai harie giye khuje pawa..?

Humse pucha doston ne jab kya hai ye jo hai tum dono ke beech.. Humne kaha kuch nahi k,kuch nahi jo samajha saku tumko.. Kuch nahi jisko naam de saku mai.. Kuch nahi jo hai ek ajeeb se dard ka rishta.. Kuch nahi jisse rishton mei dhaal saku mai.. Kuch nahi jo baato mei karsaku baayan Kuch nahi jo likhkar suna saku tumhe.. Hai kya ye ehsaas bus kuch nahi kuch bhi toh nahi..

Love.. Love for it makes you feel complete and lonesome at the same time.. Love Love even though you find a million reasons not to... Love Love for you hate and love the person the most at the same time.. Love Love because you want to be noticed and to be unnoticed at the same time.. Love Love for you don't want to speak to that person ever again, but end up doing just the same again and again... Love, Love cause you go against your better judgments and fears and abstentions just to see that one smile on that person... Love, Love because you're tiresomely sad but happy because that person has got LOVE.. Love Love not because you think you understand it but because you can never fully understand what it is...

Love, the elusive,controversial,hot topic that gives rise to pain and happiness,joy and sorrow... And in some cases anguish and euphoria... It is that(read., highly hazardous) disorder which can transform a healthy and sound individual into a jealous, possessive and scheming person, who can be readily passed as a neurotic mental case..! Now many people have all the time in their lives for such a nuisance but clearly some(like me!) dont... So Love love love... SPARE ME THE drama!

I was chatting with a friend(who always tries to link me up to new people!) and she asked me to describe my Mr Right and how he should be(even though I'd told her i believe Mr Right is a myth but she wouldn't listen..)! I don't know what he should be like i mean,i have NEVER analyzed the Mr Right concept before(maybe because i used to read Tolstoy when my friends started Mills and Boons!).. Anyway, so this is my take on my Mr Right.!   When I stay up late to paint a new picture and when its complete just the way I've wanted it to be and even though I have paint smeared on my hands,face and clothes there's this feeling of serenity and comfort... Talking to you should feel like this.. On the days I feel I've messed up and  almost nothing falls in its place and then you finally finish something you've been struggling on for a long time...And seeing you happy eases me from all the tension that was. Happiness should feel this... On the day...

"  I am not ready..ummm...I mean i don't want to... " Zia said " What are you saying.." "I..I don't want to get married.." "What the fu** Zi,I am on my knees proposing and...And your not ready.." Aditya shouted,getting up from the shiny 5star hotel floor... "No..no Dan..don't misunderstand me...I don't know how to say this but..." "Shit..freaking shit..I can't believe you did this to me..!" He shouted agitated by her behavior.. "Jus..just..don't bother..I am leaving..i don't think i want to get into this.." " 'get into this'..Then why have you dragged me into this..We've been together for 4 years damn it and all this while i thought...  i thought we loved each other so i proposed marriage...but maybe i was wrong.. I am just sick and tired of your mood swings..I just proposed to you to get married to me for Christ' sake, 'a no' wouldn't have hurted...

"Just tell me what happened will you?" Jia asked.. "You know na we've been fighting a lot lately about his smoking habit.." Meghna said distressed.. "Look  Meghna its hard to quit smoking at once when you're so addicted..You have to work this out with him,just reason it out with him..I am sure he'll quit eventually.." Jia said looking at her watch,10 minutes were left and the OR would be ready.. "Its not that J its..its just that...." and  Meghna  broke down on the floor crying.. " Is everything alright  Meghna ?  Don't cry.. come on now tell me...Heyyy..! come on now, you can tell me,whats wrong?." Jia said quite shocked by the sudden outburst of her friend.. "Today we were fighting about something again and..and.." Meghna  said sobbing.. "And what  Meghna  come on..tell me.." Jia said concerned... And i screamed at him about his smoking habit and he shouted at me back..and..and he coughed ou...

There was this contest in Indiblogger recently titled love marriage vs arranged marriage and though I hate writing for a contest or something, I began writing a post on love marriage and arranged marriages... But then I just couldn't bring myself to publish that(I mean writing for some contest is so not me..!!) and that's why I deleted it... Anyway while writing for that contest i was reminded of some really funny old memories of the marriages i attended when i was small... I remember when my two uncles got married consecutively i was about 5 or 6 yrs old.Now my two uncles(who got married consecutively on the same month) are cousin brothers but so close to each other that they supposedly have done everything together so they got married in the same month maybe in a week or two's gap..!.. This the only marriage which I kinda remember the earlier ones that I had been to have always been the ones where I went sleeping with my head on my mothers lap(nearly ruining her bena...

I am in Mumbai yet again and I'm spending some jobless and useless moments here..So I'm spending my time watching people around me,and walking to Marine drive(though its quite far from the apartment..) Here are some of my observations..(as I have nothing better to write!) Yesterday I saw a really cute middle aged couple  in the cab before us,the husband and wife looked quite untouched by the rain and traffic outside...He settled her gajra and she laughed and put her head on his shoulders lovingly... For the few minutes that I saw them,they seemed quite in love and quite unconcerned of the world outside... I am not much of a 'gawk at people' type person but there was seriously something magical and innocent about them which was rare in other cases... As the cab moved past us, i wondered was it just the rain or love is in the air of Mumbai... I saw many more of such couples at Marine drive yesterday and today but they were not as interesting to watch as the...

In today's world when the virtual world is taking over the real world and relationships... I can't help but wonder are real emotions too giving away to virtual expression of feelings... There was a time when love stories meant love letters written to one another..I remember I had found a letter safely kept in one of Dada's books with a dried up rose inside which he had written to my Dadi.. My Dad had written love letters to my mum which they are too embarrassed to show us(though i always insist..!!)...!! But nowadays this lovely gesture has been replaced by texts messages and (the worst part)status updates professing ones love.... Most of my friends and acquaintances first proclaimed their love through texting or phone calls and emails... Have we lost the hand written love letter in our digital world then? When we were in school and we used to have these silly fights with each other,and things got worse, we used to write a letter to each other to peacefully prove o...

He was lost in a depressing thought that day when the clouds of thunder made an effect of dark and light around him...  As he stood there on that stormy night alone,watching those empty roads which couldn't lead him home today and the destructive silence which was soon broken by the roar of thunder...  He looked back as if in deep anticipation and longing of someone...As if he was still waiting for her to come looking for him and hold him again which would make everything seem lighter... The pain of his feelings was ripping him apart from inside how could he do that to her... It was all over now he was sure she dint love him and would never see his face again... It had happened just as she jokingly told him one day that his anger will ultimately ruin it all.... He kicked the ground hard,"its all over now everything is finished.." A wild stormy wind ruffled the leaves when he silently lit a cigarette.. This silence was deafening him... He couldn't hear the tu...