Where love is bleak..

" I am not ready..ummm...I mean i don't want to... " Zia said
"What are you saying.."
"I..I don't want to get married.."
"What the fu** Zi,I am on my knees proposing and...And your not ready.." Aditya shouted,getting up from the shiny 5star hotel floor...
"No..no Dan..don't misunderstand me...I don't know how to say this but..."
"Shit..freaking shit..I can't believe you did this to me..!" He shouted agitated by her behavior..
"Jus..just..don't bother..I am leaving..i don't think i want to get into this.."
" 'get into this'..Then why have you dragged me into this..We've been together for 4 years damn it and all this while i thought... 
i thought we loved each other so i proposed marriage...but maybe i was wrong..
I am just sick and tired of your mood swings..I just proposed to you to get married to me for Christ' sake, 'a no' wouldn't have hurted this much..but you..'you are not ready'...great..
Then Ms Zia Choudhury i dont think i'd want to be with such a confused person"
He shouted,making the couple in the next table to the left, spring from their seats and giving the family in the right one a reason to gossip about..
"Why the hell are you shouting Dan why..?I do love you but i dint know i would be saying this here like this.. You know what i'm leaving ..she said popping up from her seat..

She payed the bill and dialed a certain number from her white Nokia 1100 having several scratches and cracks from all sides but still firmly in her hands..
"Hello mashi..Acha tomar kache radio taxi'r number ache?...
acha..hmmm..na na ami..ami actually ek jaigai ektu feshe achi tai..na na..hmmm..haan Aditya ache..hain..thikache rakhchi"
Kajari mashi was not her aunt she used to work in her mother's house and was more of a companion to her,who she had brought with her when she got married..
Now Kajari mashi always hopes that someday maybe Zia's mother would return but 17 years  is a long time to be gone..
She walked from the lobby to the main entrance dialing another number from her phone "hello yes,its Zia Choudhury and i would need a radio taxi at grand hotel..yes grand to.." 

Before she could complete her sentence she felt a tight grip on her elbow it was Aditya..
"Just leave me.no..no you..just don't.."
"Get in the car will you,I'll..I'll just drop you...."
"No..you have insulted me in every possible way and now...please just leave me...alone..

"Just shut up..And i have insulted you..I..Just get in the car I beg you,I'll not say a word okay..i wont!.Now come on,get in.." He shouted..

"Is there a problem ma'am" the guard near the entrance asked interrupting..

"No..umm..no.." Zia said getting into the car,coldy,dispassionately...

He backed the car as fast as he could,looking at her now and then from the corner of his eye trying to read her mind.. There was an uneventful silence between them now which was comforting enough to look for answers...
He tried to remember the days he felt pensive and how he captured her from her office and they would hop on the tram from Park circus just to feel the city move slowly with them as they talked about the complexities of their lives within the simplicities of this slow but entropic city..He tried to imagine life without her before she came into his life but he couldn't it just seemed as if she was all over this city..or they were all over this city..

He drove through the Park street area where she often forcibly stopped the car just to take a  glimpse of the sea of people running around which was now filled with drunken pretty people walking out of the pubs.The ones coming out of posh pubs and the smaller ones...
As he drove by the St Paul's cathedral he looked at her and saw her looking in the same direction..
He pressed the clutch and break hard and the Ford jeep stopped with a roar and a jerk jolting them both from their line of thoughts..
"Will you just tell me what the hell is wrong with you?" Aditya asked softly knowing that she was still cross..
She dint say a word.. Her coldness was infuriating as well as intriguing..He took the cigarette pack from his coat pocket and lighted a cigarette knowing quite well that she would be irritated
"I am sorry..I really am..You know how i just lose it when i'm angry..I dont know how to say this you know..Don't they have a manual guide to all this..!" he said with a chuckle
"You don't need to try all this Dan.." she turned to face him this time..
I told you i had issues she said smiling bitterly.. 
"I don't understand you..now" he said looking into her eyes..Her eyes were cold devoid of emotion..
"I want to go home" she said as she shut her eyes to fight back the tears...
"Heyyy! I am sorry...really sorry he said holding her her elbow which she pulled away from him reluctantly.."
He clutch started the car..making the engine roar...

The streets of Calcutta in which they first met each other and realised that they were not poles but galaxies apart! It was here that she nicknamed him Dan to mock the fact that he hadn't ever read a Dan Brown book... 
Also it was here that a 6 year old girl, Zia was told by her mother oneday that her father abandoned them because he was already married to somebody else and that her mother couldn't be with her because she was becoming frantic with pain...
The city in the lanes of which she first held Aditya's hands and walked through the narrow  lanes of North Calcutta where her father stayed with his huge family who were absolutely unaware of her existence....
So was Aditya..unaware that why Zia had come this far just to walk in these unknown lanes and why she held his hands so tightly...
Did she feel the same for him?...He dint know..
He squeezed her hands and smiled at her not knowing where that narrow lane in north Calcutta lead to,but walking with her anyway...

"Why are you doing this to me""
 Aditya whispered incredibly repulsed and drawn by her in the same breath,stopping the car again this time because he had reached her house...

"I'll tell you...i know i have to...and i should..but..before that..
Amake ekbar north Calcutta niye jabi..?"