Shadows of Time

Life is strange....
I never anticipated even in my wildest dreams that I would be able to attain the marks as to get Science but i surprisingly did...I was always one of the no-nuisance day dreamers in school,known in class for my strong opinions.I was never really serious about life,I was actually never serious about anything..But gradually my whole perspective about life changed,in every way possible...I used to be really impulsive and emotional as a child..But some circumstances in life change the very existence of your life..I always used to be my grandpa's little girl.I called him Dada and he called me Ma.....
I remember holding his strong hand tightly with my little fingers while crossing the road and stopping near the sweet shop which was his favourite spot..Though he was advised by the doctor to have not more than one sweet a day whenever i returned from school i used to see him secretly gorging on Rasgullas..I can never forget those endless walks to the library with him and returning with a box of sweets..26th January and 15th August seemed like a patriotic fervor back then..When I used to accompany Dada to do the Flag Hoisting in our neighborhood and we were treated like celebrities(i still don't know why!)
I still retain the memories of our endless discussions over a cup of tea ranging from books,films,technology to politics culture,drama,literature and more significantly about life.....I retrospect how happy he was when I returned from my first scouts camp and gave him the first present,i bought for anybody in my first camp alone..Its still kept in his room located in such a position that it is visible from every angle...I was never interested in celebrating my birthday but it was only for him that i used to do so..Earlier,birthdays always meant cutting a cake,lighting candles and holding hands with my sister and Dada to cut the cake..Dada was one person who used to Live every moment to the fullest..
When Dada died no one had the courage to tell me and when i saw the ambulance coming back i thought maybe he recovered but it did not occur to me even for a moment that i would never see him again..Perhaps it was the shock of it that hit me even harder than the sorrow.I keep thinking that why God separated Dada from us when he had enough reasons to live and when i needed him the most...But then i remember Dada's words that "life isn't about how long you live or how much you earn but its about living in every moment and fulfilling the purpose while you are here" and he truly LIVED...I went through a lot in that one month i lost everything..But my friends stood by me through those tough moments and made me stronger...I learnt a lot in that one month after Dada left us..I relearned how to sleep and to be patient as my mind learned to accept that harsh reality..I also learned that even if i feel weak i have enough support to hold me up..I also learned to appreciate life and slowly in that one month that initial feeling of nausea subsided..
He called me ma,and the fact that i'll never hear that voice again still makes me feel as if I am split...Though today Dada is no longer there I am happy that i could stand in the shadow of his life..I know he isn't there to see my board result and give me that beaming smile but he will always continue to inspire me and dwell forever in my principles,values,dreams and aspirations......