Word-less

Of all the words I say to you and all the words I write,
Not one is word enough to say what you mean to me,
I make my bed with words at night and hope to wake up with the right lot of words or phrases. 
My mind storms with all these words and I struggle to sleep at night.
My heart just beats and pounds, my hands tremble as I dream.
This the  recurrent dream of separation comes back and awakens me with lines of sweat on my forehead.
I cover my face with my small hands and just listen to my beating heart. This voice speaks of all my past histories. 
You wake up and ask me, 
-What keeps you awake my love?
-I can't find the right words.
-What words?
- I am writing you a letter for the time when we won't be together.
-Pray why won't we be?
-For when I die or disappear or vanish without a trace.  I said with my voice shaking.
- Do you think I'll let you go away so easily.. And even if you "disappear" as you say you are going to. I won't need a letter to find you. 
The hint of amusement in your words hurt and comfort me at the same time.
- But what else can I give to you when I leave.
- I don't need a letter,
I have all the love that you gave to me and that is here to stay. 
- And as we lay side by side not moving our gaze from one another. 
I turn to look at the darkness outside through the stained glass window, and then again to you.
And wonder maybe words were invented by those incapable of loving, of seeing what I see now. 

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