Wandering scribbler..

We dream... We set a time limit for our dreams... We struggle and strive to fulfill them... Some dreams come true and some remain as dreams... Now if it comes true you're fortunate its something you've fought for... But what if you don't make it... Either you accept it and move on being satisfied that you tried or you try again and again... Since the last year I've come across many people belonging to the second category  those who would fight for their dreams and struggle to make it happen...Students who would travel long distances in buses and then metro and then walk to the Medical/Engineering coaching institute, Some students who would stay far away from their homes in a PG or mess close to their Coaching institute because they couldn't make it the year before... Students who preferred struggle rather than compromising their dreams... Year after year students drop out just to give their dreams another chance just to study Medicine,or to get through...

I think I've turned insomniac or maybe it's because of the dozens of cups of coffee that I drink during the day,or maybe it's the pre exam stress.... I am just a few weeks away for my board exams(OMG..!*panic *panic) which I HAVE TO to pass and when my board exams end, just the next day I have my Pre Medical preliminary Examination which if (and only if... P.s there's a really low possibility) I pass I'll have to give another exam which is the mains..And I also have JOINT and other medical competitive exams..So Basically till June end I will be just giving exams and I have a lot of inhibitions as to whether I'll make it or not... I have been getting panic attacks already..!! Anyway the person that I am I should feel more excited about life right now because I actually love being on the edge and everything everything in the past two years had been leading to this very moment...But seems as if the feeling of excitement has been drowned by stress and fear.... I wo...

I cant believe i am posting this...This isn't even a proper post actually its just that i am feeling really depressed today so wrote whatever came to my mind..Please pardon my bad sense of grammar in Bengali,this is my first attempt at it.. Fire esho na abar tumi shokal er alo jeram fire ashe rater ondhokarer pore.. Ekbaar fire esho tumi abar laagbe du cup cha abar shei table abar cholbe table er kone rakha bondo radio.. Fire esho na tumi roj jeram firte shonibaar shokale ghure eshe.. Fire ashug shei shondhe belaar golpo,shei choto choto kothai jhogra,shei baar baar cha khawa aar golpo politics.. Fire ashug shei brishti'r din gulo aar aam er jonno tomar oi fascination,amar rojkaar notun dushtumi aar khabar niye jhamela,shei bagaaner picnic,aar roj shokaler tomar handshake.... Kintu firche na toh kichui kete gelo du bochor... Tahole ki shob shesh..? Shesh ki shei shondhe belaar golpo aar haath dhore eksathe cake kata aar golpo'r boi niye chorcha,shesh toh shei library'r ...

Today while coming out of my Biology tuition I slipped but then I somehow regained my balance.!! Yes I slipped again..!!A year back on my 16th birthday I slipped and fractured my ankle!!Actually it's my fault only there are two staircases in my biology tuition both leading to the exit, one is the normal kinda stairs which we generally have and the other one is a spiral staircase which opens outwards (yes you can even see the sky from it's broken corners!) but it doesnot even have a railing in some places and it's extremely narrow(exactly the size of my foot!!yes I did measure it!!) and steep!! So as you may have guessed by now I regularly use the spiral staircase!!Girls in my tuition can't even think of using that staircase and I don't know why even guys don't use it!!(maybe they are scared!!).. I really don't understand why I love those 'danger stairs' (yes my friends call it that) so much but I actually do..I remember once when I was about four or ...

Sometimes it's actually important to just let go of things specially if they hurt you immensely... People change and you have to accept it that way..Anyway I patched up with my sister after a 2 month long fight it's the longest we have gone without speaking...But I guess this was really necessary because we both were getting way too dependent on each other..But in those 2 months I realized how weak I am without her..I tried hard not to talk about this in front of Riko(my best friend) so that I don't end up crying but whenever I told her(Riko) about it I mostly did.. And that's why I took the first step (unlike my usual egoistic self) and cleared the air between us(though it was her fault!).. But I am glad things are better now, atleast something is normal in my life now..!After 2 months of silence now we finally can talk normally..I realized that things change with time and if you love someone truly you'll accept that person with that change.. I also realized some...

I know its been a while but things changed so fast and so drastically..That i had to struggle to keep up with those changing things.. Well!Its been hell of a month.. I have been feeling extremely lost as if i don't know why I am doing,what I am doing and if at all it is right or not..And I can't even see a way out.. Things in life and at school have also turned really ugly,so ugly that i feel like leaving everything aside and just go on a long long vacation to some unknown place!! But i obviously can't do that.. I was expecting life will be a bit better from last month but it actually worsened..! I just saw my Biology and Physics marks last day and it was disgusting.. I feel as if i am on the verge of losing this.. And I have planned something(yes you read that right!'I' have actually thought of a plan!!) that i will try and lessen the distractions in life and only focus on my career(atleast for once in my life) So Friends i wont be writing much till then.. ciao Too...

I changed my blog address yesterday!! I don't know why maybe because I wanted to get rid of some unwanted people in my life or maybe because I realized an inevitable truth about myself yesterday which I knew before also ,but never agreed to it..(Though even now I have trouble agreeing to it) But velocity07.blogspot.com continues to be my favorite webpage for my blog and it was extremely painful to part with it but i guess I just had too..Maybe I've had enough of velocity in life now all that I need is acceleration..isn't it?!

I don't know why people stretch a normal debate into a heated up fight and try to act mean when they are losing it..I dislike such narrow minded people..I love debates I think debates help me know more about something and to learn more in this process but I think now I'll have to start being choosy about the people I discuss or debate with..!!It's so funny when people twice your age can't take a discussion as a discussion and start a fight!! Is is it a crime to be opinionated or have a difference of opinion with someone..Well this is not the first time someone acted so ridiculously with me!!Anyway I am so in love with my present blog theme I feel like walking through these woods and getting lost somewhere..How do you people like it??What strikes you first when you see it??

It is so hard responding to calls from relatives when they ask when and how and what time this happened I just know that it happened..And she is no more and She's not coming back I remember the last time dadi and I went out together she came in through this door holding my hand and yesterday I saw her maybe for the last time in my life being taken through the same door..Every time we sat together in her room chatting and I sat at the end of the bed or at the arm rest of the chair she used to tell me a thousand times till I got up from there "jijo pore jabi okhan theke uthe por"(jijo u'll fall down from there,get up)..And I used to tell her "ami porbo na dadi,tumi chinta korona"(u don't worry dadi I won't fall down") But now I feel as if I've falling apart I can never get used to the fact that I will never get to see dada and dadi again...I feel as if I have lost the two closest friends that I had somewhere from where they will never retur...

Today is like one of those days when i want to be left alone..So i decided to get back at my blog..I just had a fight sometime back with a friend Pritz who was perhaps one of my oldest acquaintances in school..We always had differences of opinions which is quite common as you can't expect people to be alike but we've never stopped talking for so long...Sometimes i wonder was just a small fight enough to break our friendship?Was our friendship that shallow?? I guess times change and so do people.. Sometimes in Life you really want to be left alone and thats when people don't give you that space but when you really want someone's support you don't find them.. Why is it that people who started on a "no sorry", no thank you" note and reached the forever stage end everything on a bitter note? Why is it that a person who you thought understands you on bigger issues,misunderstands you on a small matter and the friendship ends..But People forget that life is ...